I'm From Away, and I'm Here to Help You Run Your State

Suggestion number one, and it's impossible to emphasize this one enough, stay out of politics! Unless you are a truly exceptional person, that really is the safest course. (If you think you are a truly exceptional person, you're already in trouble, possibly as much trouble as one who makes suggestions to newcomers). If you just can't stay away from town meetings, wait at least twenty years before you open your mouth, but by my estimation, even that is too soon. This state is full of sad-case towns that have suffered ruination at the hands of well meaning, but misdirected new-resident "saviors". Things in Maine will change, and progress is inevitable, but if you've never actually made a living on this economy go lightly in making suggestions or pushing agendas. If you are living on annuities, or money made elsewhere, the best thing you can do for the state is take up the game of golf.

Why is My Roof Leaking?

Second suggestion; Buy a good scope-sighted .22 or a high powered pellet gun and learn how to use it. Unless you enjoy shelling out big bucks to local roofing and electrical contractors to repair the damage done by red squirrels, I'd advise shooting every one of the furry-tailed rodents you see. If you live where it isn't legal to shoot, ..... why are you living there? If you don't have the stomach for killing pests, I hope you have some healthy annuities, or a lot of money you made elsewhere along with time off from the golf course to nurture a relationship with a few good local contractors.

I Keep Hearing About RoadKill. What is it?

My third suggestion is a little more tongue-in-cheek than the other two, but has some merit (to me) none-the-less. Unless it's larger than a porcupine, don't hit the brakes when you see an animal in the road (unless, of course, it's your neighbor's beloved pet). We are making an effort to rid the state of really stupid animals so that the smart ones can breed. Those of you who subscribe to the theory of evolution would be natural enthusiastic supporters of this idea. If only the smart ones survive, in no time at all we'll have critters in Maine who look both ways before crossing a road. If you avoid hitting the dumb ones, you are short-circuiting natural selection, fouling up the whole mechanism of evolution, and perpetuating animal stupidity, and ..... well, ..... shame on you!